When my family has any kind of occasion such as a wedding, circumcision or funeral, in the weddings and circumcision celebrations they use a drum and make ululations of joy, and on the occasion of a death they wail in an outrageous fashion. Should I go
to these gatherings or not, when they do these bid’ahs (innovations)?
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not permissible for you to go to a gathering in which these evil actions take place, unless you are able to change this bid’ah and advise them and teach them in a goodly manner, so go to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil.
From Fataawaa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 12/365