Praise be to Allaah.
We ask Allah to make things easy for you and to give you a
way out of hardship and relief from distress.
It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to remain married to
a kaafir, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! When believing women come to you as
emigrants, examine them; Allaah knows best as to their Faith, then if you
ascertain that they are true believers send them not back to the
disbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the
disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”
Although the scholars differed as to whether the one who does
not pray is a kaafir or not, they did not differ as to whether the one who
denies that Allah created the heavens and the earth is a kaafir.
If a Muslim apostatises, his marriage to his Muslim wife is
rendered null and void. If he comes back to Islam, then their marriage is
reinstated, but if her ‘iddah ends and he is still insisting on apostasy,
then she is now in charge of her own affairs and may marry someone else if
she wishes. Based on that, if your husband persists in his ways, then the
marriage between you is annulled according to sharee’ah and you are no
longer his wife.
You have to strive to get out of this marriage by whatever
means, either by talaaq or khula’ or something else.
Beware of making the children a barrier between you and
leaving this man.
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have
mercy on him) said:
Many women -- Allah forbid -- are prevented by the presence
of children from seeking annulment of marriage. This is a serious matter. It
should be said: Annul the marriage; it is not permissible you to stay with
this kaafir who does not pray. Your children will never leave you so long as
their father is like this. He has no guardianship over them, because the
kaafir can have guardianship over a believer. “And never will Allaah
grant to the disbelievers a way (to triumph) over the believers” [al-Nisa’
4:141]. So you and your children cannot be separated. As for this
husband, there is nothing good in him. You should forsake this kaafir
husband and it is haraam to let him be intimate with you; this is a great
evil. End quote.
Al-Sharh al-Mumti’ ‘ala Zaad al-Mustaqni’,
We advise you to take your case to the Islamic centres in
your country and to the Muslims, and ask them for help. They know better
than us how to deal with this problem, as they are present in that country.
We criticise your family's attitude towards you. We
understand from your question that you chose this husband and chose to live
with him without your family's approval. This was a great mistake on your
part, and you have paid the price for that, but that does not mean that your
family should abandon you. Keep getting in touch with them and ask good and
wise people among your relatives to mediate between you and them so that
they will help you and stand beside you during this difficult time.
You should understand that what is happening to you now is
the result of previous mistakes, among the greatest of which were getting
married and travelling without your family's approval, then choosing to
reside in a kaafir state rather than living in a Muslim land.
This is the price for living in that doomed land.
You have to try to leave that country without delay, and go
back to your family and your country; take the children with you and bring
them up in Islam, teach them to memorise the Book of Allah, instead of them
seeing the bad example that prevents them from following the true path.
Hence it is right that you should weep night and day for how
you have ended up. But weeping does not achieve any benefit. So hasten to do
something and strive to change this situation, by annulling the marriage
contract and not letting him be intimate with you, and by returning to your
family and your country.
We ask Allah to make things easy for you and to protect your
religious commitment and to make your children righteous.
And Allah knows best.