Islam Question and Answer - He committed sodomy with a young man and has repented. Is it permissible to him to marry the sister of that young man?

Mon 6/12/1430 - 23/11/2009

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Fiqh of the family » Rulings on Marriage
Psychological and Social Problems

He committed sodomy with a young man and has repented. Is it permissible to him to marry the sister of that young man?

I do not know how to begin my question, but I hope that you will accept my question with an open heart. I am a young man, 25 years old. I committed sodomy with one of my relatives approximately 10 or 11 years ago. Praise be to Allaah, I have repented from this action.
My question is: is it permissible for me to marry the sister of the one with whom I committed sodomy? Please note that my father has proposed marriage to the girl for me, but the engagement is not official. My father and mother want me to marry her, but I am refusing for this reason. I hope that you can answer my question. May Allaah reward you with good.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

We ask Allaah to let your repentance be sincere, and to make you feel regret for what you have done and to have firm resolve that you will never repeat this evil deed. The sign of your resolve not to do it again is your saying that you will never do it again. The sin of sodomy is a major sin for which the punishment is execution. Allaah punished the people of Loot in a way that He had never punished any people before. He turned their houses upside down on them, caused them to be swallowed up by the earth, and stoned them with rocks from heaven, and put out their eyes.

See the answer to question number: 5177, 27176 and 38623.

Secondly:

With regard to your intention to marry the sister of your relative with whom you committed this evil action, your haraam action does not make it haraam to you to marry her, and we do not know of any difference of opinion concerning that among the scholars. Rather the issue concerning which the scholars differ is as to whether his mother or daughter would be permissible to you to marry or not.

See the answer to question number 78597 and 9361.

With regard to this question of yours, it is different from what we have mentioned of the issue concerning which there is a difference of scholarly opinion. We do not know of anyone among the scholars who said that it is haraam to marry in the situation that you have described.

But -- in fact -- we do not advise you to do that and we do not like that for you. Rather part of your repentance being complete is that you should cut off all ties to this filthy incident that happened in the past, and keep away from everything that will remind you of it or could bring you back to it at any time in the future.

Moreover, the relationship with one's in-laws is very important, and Allaah has blessed His slaves with it. He says: (interpretation of the meaning):

“And it is He Who has created man from water, and has appointed for him kindred by blood, and kindred by marriage. And your Lord is Ever All‑Powerful to do what He wills”

[al-Furqaan 25:54]

This person whom you mention would be one of your in-laws, and a maternal uncle to your children if Allaah wills. Such ties require a great deal of mutual respect between the two parties, which is something that we doubt would happen with what had passed between you, and it is something that cannot be forgotten.

To sum up: from the point of view of sharee’ah, it is permissible to you to marry this girl, but we do not advise you to do that and we do not recommend it to you. There are many other women besides her, and you can reject this marriage in a thousand ways, without disclosing your secrets or the secret of the other party.

We ask Allaah to bless us all with sincere repentance and to conceal our faults in this world and in the Hereafter.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A