Praise be to Allaah.
First of all, we share your astonishment at the answer of
this imam whose was not wise and was not appropriate to the case that was
presented to him. Yes, a person could advise one who wants to get married
in ordinary circumstances to marry someone from the same country or region
as himself, so as to avoid differences in customs, traditions and so on,
which can cause a lot of family problems, let alone the possible
consequences of staying away from one’s country, such as severing of
family ties and the like.
But with regard to your problem, the matter is different in
all aspects. Hence the advice of this imam was not appropriate. Moreover,
giving advice is one thing and explaining the Islamic ruling to one who is
asking about it is something else. If the imam was being asked for Islamic
advice, he should have explained the ruling of Islam on the matter being
referred to him, then after that he could give his advice in the light of
what he thinks is in the best interests of the questioner.
If you did your marriage contract with this Muslim girl, with
the proposal and acceptance as prescribed in sharee‘ah, and all the pillars
or essential requirements of marriage were fulfilled, and the marriage
contract was done by the imam of the neighbourhood in which you live or by
the director of the Islamic Centre in your locality, then your marriage to
this girl is valid. But in fact you did not need to travel with her without
a mahram; this is something that was not permissible for you. And you should
not have married her far away from her family, because they were not opposed
to your marrying her and they were not opposed to her in her choice of
religion. You could have brought her family to where you live or brought
some of them, and the marriage could have been done in the proper Islamic
fashion and in an appropriate social environment, so that her family could
have attended and it would not have appeared to exclude them or go against
But whatever the case, so long as the matter is done and
there have not been any problems with your wife’s family, then the marriage
is valid even though there was the issue of your travelling with her without
a mahram, which against the teachings of Islam. May Allah forgive you and
See also the answer to question no.
And Allah knows best.