Praise be to Allaah.
The husband’s saying “you
are not my wife” and “we are finished” is not from the explicit wordings of
divorce and so divorce does not take effect unless that was the intent of
the husband. He must be consulted to know this.
It appears from your
question that your husband explicitly divorced you three times on separate
occasions. The first of them was when he said: “you are divorced” over the
phone, the second was when he said “I divorce you ten times” and the third
was when he said “I divorce you” after he learned that you wanted to get a
divorce through the mosque.
Based on this, your divorce
from your husband is final and you are not permitted to return to him until
after you marry someone else genuinely, not for the sake of becoming lawful
for your first husband again, and that second husband were to either die or
divorce you. Allah says (what means): “Divorce is twice. Then, either keep
[her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment. And it
is not lawful for you to take anything of what you have given them unless
both fear that they will not be able to keep [within] the limits of Allah.
But if you fear that they will not keep [within] the limits of Allah, then
there is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms
herself. These are the limits of Allah, so do not transgress them. And
whoever transgresses the limits of Allah – it is those who are the
wrongdoers. And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not
lawful to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him.
And if the latter husband divorces her [or dies], there is no blame upon the
woman and her former husband for returning to each other if they think that
they can keep [within] the limits of Allah. These are the limits of Allah,
which He makes clear to a people who know.” [2:229-230]
However, if the husband
claims the marriage is still valid and contests the validity of one of the
pronouncements of divorce, then you must refer to one of the people of
knowledge at an Islamic Centre or elsewhere so they can listen to all the
details from both of you.
You must be aware that what
counts is the execution of divorce according to Islamic Law and not the
judgement of the civil court. Refer to the answer to question
We ask Allah to guide you
to good, obedience and repentance.
And Allah knows best.